Replicare

"The memories of destruction echo inside me
Now I am unable to run away
Trapped in sorrow, tied to anguish
Wandering in eternal night

In this broken world, stillness is scattered
A blue flame surges onward
Darkness of the night is buried in an inescapable nightmare
Confused hearts are distorted and driven chaotic

The hours of madness are cursing me
Breaking me, bonding me, that day comes again and again"

...No hidden meaning. Don't go looking for one.

I'm going to bed. Good night.

See you in the morning.

Ardent Love

...that didn't turn out like I expected.

Checked my inbox this morning and there was a message from my Dad. He'd gone over to his coworker's house to check on the guy and just hang out. He dozed off there and when he woke up, the guy was gone with his keys. Guess I'd just missed Dad when I climbed out the window.

My folks... they're not mad. They just want me to come home or let them know that I'm all right. ...Sent a message back letting them know that I'm alive and well. But I don't think I want to go home.

Not yet. Call it paranoia or something.

Robert... what happened to you?

Disembark

End of the road for me.

...And for the record, I always think of myself as Amelia. Never a Sage. Just... me. Been thinking about titles a lot during the train ride. Well, that and how bloody COLD it is outside of Arizona. Seriously. I take back all bitching I ever did about my hometown and winter.

Bah. Getting my backpack as soon as this posts. Catch you all once I hit a coffee place or a motel or something.

...Some quiet time wouldn't hurt.

Magnet

I am thankful for a father who watches horror movies with me and taught me how to build a computer from scratch.

I am thankful for a mother who loves sushi as much as I do and who taught me how to make chocoloate chip pecan cookies.

I am thankful for a sister who protected me from bullies as a child and who geeks out about comic books.

I am thankful for Robert and Jay and Shaun.

I am thankful for Zero and Maduin and Jean and Nessa and Reach and everyone who I've met since opening up this blog.

I am thankful that light exists even in the chaos of an unraveling life.

See you at the end of the tracks, zero. And don't worry. I'll have a creme soda with me like I promised.

Boarding's starting. See you then.

fortunediver

sitting on train, typing on cell

sorry for the shortness

daddy... your icarus is going to fly whether or not the wings are made of wax

you told me to find my own meaning in life. to not think i have to live up to anyone.

i found it, daddy. "icarus" or otherwise. even borrowed wings can still carry me.

take your offer and cram it, agent

BossDeath

Can't kill me if I stay in the busiest areas of the city, now, can you? Spent all afternoon near the municipal courthouse. Lunch at the sandwich shop across the street. The one filled with lawyers. And now I'm in one the busiest bars in all of town.

Fuck you if you think you'll catch me. I know this city like the back of my hands. I've lived here for over 20 years. By the time you figure out where I am? I'll be long gone and safely out of your reach.

Go tell It that. Go tell It that Amelia Clark is not giving up.

And go suck on that, Agents.

"Mamoritakatta no wa
Shizukana asu to
Kaasan ga tsukuru
Attakai SOUP

Sougen de naiteta koro
Motteta hazu no kokoro
Daiji datta mono ga nidoto
Mou kaeranainara"

Scars of Time

Still alive. Very little sleep. Cold night. Every time a car went by, I bolted upright. One stopped. Hid behind the drug store. Once the car went, checked on my stuff. Bag rummaged through, stuff scattered everywhere. Took a half-hour to recover everything.

Called home from pay phone. No response. Might be out looking for me. My folks, I mean. Mom's probably worried sick. Dad'll be angry. Sister... who knows with her?

In midtown BSG Pilot Coffee store. (See what I did there?) Moving on. Buses running now. Catch one, take to university. Big campus, lots of places to hide. Will wait it out there. (And check Dad's office. He might be there.)

Train doesn't come until early morning.

Lateness of the Hour

Made it to a late-night coffee joint. Dunno how I managed it. Called home, but no response from my folks. They're still not home. Mom. Dad. Please be okay...

Dead tired. Gonna find somewhere safe to crash. To sleep.Thinking maybe the drugstore half a mile down the road. Busy road. Bus stop right out front. Can sleep on the bench, grab the first bus down to the U. To the train station.

I need sleep. Have to get sleep somehow.

The next Agent to get near me gets a baseball bat to the skull.

Ditch

It wasn't Dad.

It got his coworker/office-mate. The guy had my dad's keys.

I'm getting out of here. Called my drinking buddy from school, packed a backpack full of clothes, got all my tech goodies powered up. Probably got enough in the old bank account for a train ticket.

Calling the cops as soon as this is posted. Once they're done, I... I'm locking myself into the bathroom with my mother's service revolver. I'll wait out the night and then head out of town.

Head east.

An Assassin Named... Alice Twilight

...My folks haven't come back from work yet, and it's pitch-black out there. Cold, too. Dad sent a message saying he was sneaking out before his bosses could grab him for another meeting. That was hours ago.

Trying to keep the mood up by playing music, keeping the lights on, cooking my favorite food. Little things like that. I haven't been home alone at night since...

No. No, they're okay. Mom's probably at yoga and Dad probably got kept late to work on some code. They'll come home soon. They've gotta come home soon. It'll be fine. Yeah. It'll be-

Hark! ('Hark"? Wow, I'm nerdy.) I hear the kitchen door being opened. That's probably Dad. I'll go yell at him for being this late. Be right back!

Power of Dream

Marble, table salt, green food coloring, cold water. Why does that work? Is it the marble? A precise balance of basic chemicals? The food coloring?

Would pink salt work, or does it have to be plain table salt? Can iodized salt work? What about other food colors? Does the water have to be cold, or will warm water work better?

It slows it temporarily. For a while, but not for good. A stopgap measure. It's good. I can't deny that. For now, I'll base my work for a cure off of what Robert's provided. Better to work with what we've got before striking out on my own. ...I just realized who I sound like with that. Jay'd probably laugh his ass off at little old me playing at scientist.

The only way to try this is to... to have no other choice. And it's risky to test it. One screw-up, one reversed effect, and someone's life is over because of me.

I don't want to think about that right now.

The Legend of Green Eyes

I still have hope. Funny. I woke up real early this morning. I mean, really early. And I got myself a cup of coffee (milk, two sugars), went out to my side yard, sat on the wall, and watched the sun come up over the mountains. Just me and the morning. Me and a new day.

I dunno. It just... it feels good to sit up and watch the sunrise sometimes. Makes me feel like no matter how crummy things may get in the future, there's still so much good in the world. And It can't take that away from me. The good things will always be here.

I'm thankful.

(The title came from this, which was playing on my iPod radio when I woke up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5U1THLG6ZQ)

Koi wa Sensou

Cure. Can we really do it? Can I...? I think I can.

I'm not a mouse. Not blind. I came into this willingly, wanting to help someone. To help everyone. For being the younger sister, I sure act like I'm the older one, huh? ...Stupid, I know. But I'm not meek. Track record or not, I'll find a way. Some way. Something. Somehow.

I'm not sick any more. The cold is gone.

Ready to get to work.

Geigeki youi.

U.N. Owen Was Her?

I'd post something witty, but sadly, gentle readers, I've been laid up with a monster sickness the past few days. It just crept up on me and laid me real low. Coughing, stuffed-up head, sore throat, the works. It's been all I can do just to keep myself hydrated.

It happened after that time... actually, Sages, I got sick the day after that incident I told you about. (For the rest of you, that'll be in a later post. Suffice it to say, it was creepy.) I'll be all right. Probably just a cold; my father had it last week and he bounced back.

Now if you'll excuse me. I only got 4 hours of sleep last night and I'm dead on my feet. Until later.

Designated Legacy

Maduin. Zero. Me.

When I first met Robert, he called me Disciple. A disciple is a student, someone who learns and carries on teachings.

I am a Sage now. I have learned. And I'll keep learning as much as I can, to help all of you out there suffering from Its reach. Don't be afraid. We're here for you. Maduin and Zero and I.

There has to be a Warrior out there. A Warrior and a Hero. Not Zeke; he's the Mystic, and that title will remain his for as long as he stands against It. I want to say that maybe Evan is a Warrior, for his bravery in attacking It with a baseball bat. It's that kind of spirit... I admire those who spit in the face of doom and pummel it.

I'll keep looking. And if any of you can read this, can lend your aid, please say so. It's only together that we can overcome.

Let's make Robert and the others proud, shall we?

Sage

He's gone. Robert is gone. Off to do his duty.

Shaun hasn't spoken in a long time, so it's safe to assume that he's gone, too. Taken or on the run, I don't know. I hope he's still out there, running.


They're gone.

"And I find myself questioning all that I have done
And I'm trying to press the button to rewind
And I find myself whispering "There's more I could have done"
And I wish I had the option to rewind"

Weapon of Choice

And I swear to God, the first person to reference Fatboy Slim or Christopher Walken gets a virtual punch to the jaw.

General information dump time. Unfortunately, zerombr, this house never had a wooden baseball bat in it. The only wooden thing around (and, consequently, my only main weapon) is a cheap little wooden sword that Current BFF got at Ye Olde Ren Faire a couple years back. Doodled a symbol on the hilt so if It does show up (Heaven forbid), I won't be unarmed.

Zeke tried shooting it, right? My father showed me his guns. The only problem is that his pistols are both magnums. And the only one with ammo is a .357 revolver that would probably break both my arms if I tried to fire it. So, I'm fucked there. (Also: what the hell's up with your newest post, Zeke? Are you talking about the Sages or the workout guys?)

Positive thinking. Always positive thinking. Gotta stay positive in bleak times or when you're just being kind of paranoid. Staying positive is the difference between a guy at the base of a mountain and a guy dead at the peak.

...What the hell. Make with the Fatboy Slim references now if you want to.

Buzzing Bees- er, Hornets

I don't think Jay over at Marble Hornets is doing well. Check out his Twitter.

That Agent is back, and it either knows the password to that account, or... or it's Jay. Cripes, I hope it's not the second one. Please let Jay be all right.

Frakking hell...

Halloween

It's that day again, and all I have to show for it is a bag of Snickers and my father TiVo-ing every zombie movie on cable. Horror movie marathon? Not exactly what I want to be doing tonight.

But then again... didn't Robert's blog say something about how It doesn't come out on Halloween? If that's true... if It really isn't rearing Its ugly head today...

Well, maybe I will watch some movies with my father, then.

Libera Nos

Fuck, what time is it?

Last thing I remember was heading out to the pharmacy for antacids and chewing gum. (Never doubt the power of apple-flavored gum to soothe the nerves.) That was... shit, 6 hours ago. It's right around the fucking block, it normally takes 5 minutes max to get there. How'd I get back home and why'd it take so long?

And I don't even have my gum or antacids. Pardon the profanity, but... what the hell happened?

Feint

Still here, folks. Still living.

I haven't seen It since that night. Starting to think maybe It wasn't actually stalking me. Maybe less "you're next" and more "I know where you live, so stop learning." ...Yeah, and maybe flamingos will land on my house and start doing a can-can routine. Or maybe It wasn't there for me in the first place. Maybe It was there for my neighbor's daughter, and my coming out of the house when I did was unforeseen. Weirder and crazier things have happened, after all.

...Haven't been sleeping too good since then. Been leaving my bedroom door open to let in some light. Just a way to chase off monsters under the bed, I guess. Like when my sister and I were kids and we thought that the monsters wouldn't come out unless we stuck our feet out from under the blankets. ...You believe some crazy shit when you're little.

Let's hope tonight brings some good dreams.

One Night of the Hunter

I saw It.

Yesterday, my folks were late getting home. I was alone. It got dark. I was outside tossing something into the garbage bin when the security lights snapped on next door. Thought it was my neighbor's daughter; she's been looking after the house since he passed away.

It wasn't her. It was too tall, too thin, dressed in black. ...I saw It standing barely in the light's range, staring at my house. Staring at me.

Ran inside, bolted all the doors, grabbed an old aluminum softball bat, turned on all the lights. My folks came home an hour later.

I'm pretty sure what I saw was It. The... you know. I can't be sure. It was dark and whatever It was wasn't standing fully in the light. But if I see It again... if I spot It... then I might as well kiss my rear goodbye.

Storm and...

Big storm yesterday. Poured down on us out here. The first real storm of the year. And I was happy to see it. Not the lightning, but the rain. It always makes the world feel new and shiny, like we're being given a new world. Sentimental, right?

...Saw something during it. Just a glimpse, but something nonetheless. Someone standing out in the rain. Looking at my house. ...I doubt It was there. At least, I hope not.

For all I know, it was some guy whose car couldn't make it across the wash while it was full of water. Had plenty of those, that's for sure.

Frost

Getting cooler here. Summer's over now for sure. Fall. ...The 26th isn't that far away now. Wonder what I'll be doing that day. Probably the same thing as always: studying about CPUs and overclocking and virtual memory.

And two men will be in the air, flying on borrowed wings away from a threat that has no face and a name I won't speak. It exists. I believe what Robert and Shaun and Jay (God rest his soul) said. It exists. The thing in the suit that has no face.

And will It come to one of us, I wonder? It's stalking the guys. Who's to say It won't start pursuing one of the commentators next? ...Bah. I shouldn't think about that. Cross that bridge when and if it comes to that. If It comes to that.

...This is why I don't stay up late. Now you know.

Bloom

God damn it. Jay.

Jay.

You son of a bitch. Are you satisfied yet? All those people, all this misery. What do you want? Well? Answer if you can, whatever you are. Explain this!

Shouldn't be so angry. I know I shouldn't be asking these questions. That's just daring It to show up and terrify the crap out of me.

But It took Jay. It took him and It might take Zeke and Robert and Shaun and Damsel and...

I'm worried.

Common

It's sad when you don't have anything to say for a couple days. Sleeping pretty good, no weird dreams to speak of, no major events. That guy in the business suit showed up again to pick up another flier, only he was in a polo shirt this time. Guess he stopped by on his way to the golf resort.

Quiet as always. Gonna get some shut-eye and sleep on what Sage just posted about. Poor guys... I hope all of them get out of this all right. I know it's not likely, but... it never hurts to hope.

Coolant

Woke up freezing cold when it was 80 in the house. Closed the door before sleeping, but it was wide open this morning. Alarm was set last night, wasn't on this morning. Maybe I dreamed that I set it. Weirder things have happened.

No movement next door. Tail-end of the week. I'm not surprised. Probably gonna be more people over on Saturday, checking out the house. My neighbor was a nice guy, kind of quiet. He was from Germany or Austria, had a real heavy accent. Stopped over on his first day in the neighborhood just to say hello. Used to see him in his backyard puttering around in the garden.

Cripes, I miss that old guy. He'd probably get a kick out of the story of It. He liked horror movies and scary stories.

Neighbor

House next door's up for sale, and it's had a couple people picking up info sheets the past few days. Mostly old people, childless couples, the usual.

Saw a guy in a business suit over there looking at things earlier. Kind of freaked me out for a minute, until he turned his head and I saw a nose and eyes. Wasn't It, thank God.

Heh. Look at me, jumping at shadows. Lame, right?

Client

Studying for a comp sci test tomorrow, reading about how the Net works. Made me wonder. Maybe It works the same way, jumping from person to person. Kind of like how information goes from a server to a client. (Yeah, sorry for the nerd moment.)

My father, in all his infinite wisdom, decided that both of us absolutely HAD to have a webcam. So now there's one hanging off of the top of my laptop here. Kind of annoying, to be honest. Makes it hard to pick this thing up and use it while watching TV. Well. I'm not going to look a gift camera in the lens.

Still having weird dreams and muscle cramps. Gonna try sleeping with the door shut tonight, see if that helps any.

Cotillion

Weird dreams last night, but chalk that up to staying up too late and sleeping too hard. Foot cramps at 3 a.m. don't help matters any. Woke up at 8:15 to the smell of fried eggs in the kitchen. (Thank God for gourmet parents and fresh groceries.)

Shaun, you probably don't read this blog, but welcome back. You had a bunch of people worried when It got in your head. At least you're you again. Thank goodness for that.

Been reading more about It now. Not a lot; I'm not that stupid. But a few entries here and there can't hurt. (No HYBRID or Tribes, though. It's scary enough just reading about It. Seeing It on video would be a completely different kind of creepy.)

Stupid dog's barking at the front yard again. Looks like the UPS guy's here with my package. Talk to you later.

Mulberry

Damn. Of all the things to see after a day in college classes, it's that.

The thing got Shaun from Testing 1, 2, 3. He's acting all weird and loopy. Sage dubbed him a "Victim" and an "Agent", so I guess that It's in his brain now. Poor guy. Never even met him, but he seemed like an okay guy.

I'm sorry, Sage. Jay.

Auburn

Been reading ZS and Sage's blogs recently. Don't ask me why I chose to follow this particular rabbit hole; any answer I come up with's just going to sound like excuses for dumb curiosity. But here's what I wonder: the masks.

"Agents" (the term Sage uses; "Masky" is the one who pops up in MH) always seem to wear masks . Are they trying to look more like the Tall Man? Or is it a coping mechanism, a way to distance what's left of their psyche from Its influence? Not a psychology major, so I don't know. Should probably pop by and ask Sage. ...Heh. Yeah, that'll go over well. "Hey Mr. Sage, can you explain this theory to a random stranger?"

At least ZS is okay. That last post had me worried that he'd been turned into an "Agent" like that Conaghan guy he wrote about. Now that would be a downer. From hero to pawn in one easy step.

I've rambled enough. Life goes on outside of Wonderland, and comp sci waits for no man.

Cherry

My name is Amelia Clark. I've started this journal as a way of keeping track of things in my life. There's been some big changes in it, so this is the best way I can think of to understand how things are going to be from here on out.

Stay tuned, gentle readers. It's going to be one heck of a ride together. Here's to this year being the best one ever, and may we never get bored!