Monday, November 29, 2010


"The memories of destruction echo inside me
Now I am unable to run away
Trapped in sorrow, tied to anguish
Wandering in eternal night

In this broken world, stillness is scattered
A blue flame surges onward
Darkness of the night is buried in an inescapable nightmare
Confused hearts are distorted and driven chaotic

The hours of madness are cursing me
Breaking me, bonding me, that day comes again and again"

...No hidden meaning. Don't go looking for one.

I'm going to bed. Good night.

See you in the morning.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Ardent Love

...that didn't turn out like I expected.

Checked my inbox this morning and there was a message from my Dad. He'd gone over to his coworker's house to check on the guy and just hang out. He dozed off there and when he woke up, the guy was gone with his keys. Guess I'd just missed Dad when I climbed out the window.

My folks... they're not mad. They just want me to come home or let them know that I'm all right. ...Sent a message back letting them know that I'm alive and well. But I don't think I want to go home.

Not yet. Call it paranoia or something.

Robert... what happened to you?

Friday, November 26, 2010


End of the road for me.

...And for the record, I always think of myself as Amelia. Never a Sage. Just... me. Been thinking about titles a lot during the train ride. Well, that and how bloody COLD it is outside of Arizona. Seriously. I take back all bitching I ever did about my hometown and winter.

Bah. Getting my backpack as soon as this posts. Catch you all once I hit a coffee place or a motel or something.

...Some quiet time wouldn't hurt.

Thursday, November 25, 2010


I am thankful for a father who watches horror movies with me and taught me how to build a computer from scratch.

I am thankful for a mother who loves sushi as much as I do and who taught me how to make chocoloate chip pecan cookies.

I am thankful for a sister who protected me from bullies as a child and who geeks out about comic books.

I am thankful for Robert and Jay and Shaun.

I am thankful for Zero and Maduin and Jean and Nessa and Reach and everyone who I've met since opening up this blog.

I am thankful that light exists even in the chaos of an unraveling life.

See you at the end of the tracks, zero. And don't worry. I'll have a creme soda with me like I promised.

Boarding's starting. See you then.


sitting on train, typing on cell

sorry for the shortness

daddy... your icarus is going to fly whether or not the wings are made of wax

you told me to find my own meaning in life. to not think i have to live up to anyone.

i found it, daddy. "icarus" or otherwise. even borrowed wings can still carry me.

take your offer and cram it, agent

Wednesday, November 24, 2010


Can't kill me if I stay in the busiest areas of the city, now, can you? Spent all afternoon near the municipal courthouse. Lunch at the sandwich shop across the street. The one filled with lawyers. And now I'm in one the busiest bars in all of town.

Fuck you if you think you'll catch me. I know this city like the back of my hands. I've lived here for over 20 years. By the time you figure out where I am? I'll be long gone and safely out of your reach.

Go tell It that. Go tell It that Amelia Clark is not giving up.

And go suck on that, Agents.

"Mamoritakatta no wa
Shizukana asu to
Kaasan ga tsukuru
Attakai SOUP

Sougen de naiteta koro
Motteta hazu no kokoro
Daiji datta mono ga nidoto
Mou kaeranainara"

Scars of Time

Still alive. Very little sleep. Cold night. Every time a car went by, I bolted upright. One stopped. Hid behind the drug store. Once the car went, checked on my stuff. Bag rummaged through, stuff scattered everywhere. Took a half-hour to recover everything.

Called home from pay phone. No response. Might be out looking for me. My folks, I mean. Mom's probably worried sick. Dad'll be angry. Sister... who knows with her?

In midtown BSG Pilot Coffee store. (See what I did there?) Moving on. Buses running now. Catch one, take to university. Big campus, lots of places to hide. Will wait it out there. (And check Dad's office. He might be there.)

Train doesn't come until early morning.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Lateness of the Hour

Made it to a late-night coffee joint. Dunno how I managed it. Called home, but no response from my folks. They're still not home. Mom. Dad. Please be okay...

Dead tired. Gonna find somewhere safe to crash. To sleep.Thinking maybe the drugstore half a mile down the road. Busy road. Bus stop right out front. Can sleep on the bench, grab the first bus down to the U. To the train station.

I need sleep. Have to get sleep somehow.

The next Agent to get near me gets a baseball bat to the skull.


It wasn't Dad.

It got his coworker/office-mate. The guy had my dad's keys.

I'm getting out of here. Called my drinking buddy from school, packed a backpack full of clothes, got all my tech goodies powered up. Probably got enough in the old bank account for a train ticket.

Calling the cops as soon as this is posted. Once they're done, I... I'm locking myself into the bathroom with my mother's service revolver. I'll wait out the night and then head out of town.

Head east.

An Assassin Named... Alice Twilight

...My folks haven't come back from work yet, and it's pitch-black out there. Cold, too. Dad sent a message saying he was sneaking out before his bosses could grab him for another meeting. That was hours ago.

Trying to keep the mood up by playing music, keeping the lights on, cooking my favorite food. Little things like that. I haven't been home alone at night since...

No. No, they're okay. Mom's probably at yoga and Dad probably got kept late to work on some code. They'll come home soon. They've gotta come home soon. It'll be fine. Yeah. It'll be-

Hark! ('Hark"? Wow, I'm nerdy.) I hear the kitchen door being opened. That's probably Dad. I'll go yell at him for being this late. Be right back!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Power of Dream

Marble, table salt, green food coloring, cold water. Why does that work? Is it the marble? A precise balance of basic chemicals? The food coloring?

Would pink salt work, or does it have to be plain table salt? Can iodized salt work? What about other food colors? Does the water have to be cold, or will warm water work better?

It slows it temporarily. For a while, but not for good. A stopgap measure. It's good. I can't deny that. For now, I'll base my work for a cure off of what Robert's provided. Better to work with what we've got before striking out on my own. ...I just realized who I sound like with that. Jay'd probably laugh his ass off at little old me playing at scientist.

The only way to try this is to... to have no other choice. And it's risky to test it. One screw-up, one reversed effect, and someone's life is over because of me.

I don't want to think about that right now.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

The Legend of Green Eyes

I still have hope. Funny. I woke up real early this morning. I mean, really early. And I got myself a cup of coffee (milk, two sugars), went out to my side yard, sat on the wall, and watched the sun come up over the mountains. Just me and the morning. Me and a new day.

I dunno. It just... it feels good to sit up and watch the sunrise sometimes. Makes me feel like no matter how crummy things may get in the future, there's still so much good in the world. And It can't take that away from me. The good things will always be here.

I'm thankful.

(The title came from this, which was playing on my iPod radio when I woke up:

Monday, November 15, 2010

Koi wa Sensou

Cure. Can we really do it? Can I...? I think I can.

I'm not a mouse. Not blind. I came into this willingly, wanting to help someone. To help everyone. For being the younger sister, I sure act like I'm the older one, huh? ...Stupid, I know. But I'm not meek. Track record or not, I'll find a way. Some way. Something. Somehow.

I'm not sick any more. The cold is gone.

Ready to get to work.

Geigeki youi.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

U.N. Owen Was Her?

I'd post something witty, but sadly, gentle readers, I've been laid up with a monster sickness the past few days. It just crept up on me and laid me real low. Coughing, stuffed-up head, sore throat, the works. It's been all I can do just to keep myself hydrated.

It happened after that time... actually, Sages, I got sick the day after that incident I told you about. (For the rest of you, that'll be in a later post. Suffice it to say, it was creepy.) I'll be all right. Probably just a cold; my father had it last week and he bounced back.

Now if you'll excuse me. I only got 4 hours of sleep last night and I'm dead on my feet. Until later.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Designated Legacy

Maduin. Zero. Me.

When I first met Robert, he called me Disciple. A disciple is a student, someone who learns and carries on teachings.

I am a Sage now. I have learned. And I'll keep learning as much as I can, to help all of you out there suffering from Its reach. Don't be afraid. We're here for you. Maduin and Zero and I.

There has to be a Warrior out there. A Warrior and a Hero. Not Zeke; he's the Mystic, and that title will remain his for as long as he stands against It. I want to say that maybe Evan is a Warrior, for his bravery in attacking It with a baseball bat. It's that kind of spirit... I admire those who spit in the face of doom and pummel it.

I'll keep looking. And if any of you can read this, can lend your aid, please say so. It's only together that we can overcome.

Let's make Robert and the others proud, shall we?

Friday, November 5, 2010


He's gone. Robert is gone. Off to do his duty.

Shaun hasn't spoken in a long time, so it's safe to assume that he's gone, too. Taken or on the run, I don't know. I hope he's still out there, running.

They're gone.

"And I find myself questioning all that I have done
And I'm trying to press the button to rewind
And I find myself whispering "There's more I could have done"
And I wish I had the option to rewind"

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Weapon of Choice

And I swear to God, the first person to reference Fatboy Slim or Christopher Walken gets a virtual punch to the jaw.

General information dump time. Unfortunately, zerombr, this house never had a wooden baseball bat in it. The only wooden thing around (and, consequently, my only main weapon) is a cheap little wooden sword that Current BFF got at Ye Olde Ren Faire a couple years back. Doodled a symbol on the hilt so if It does show up (Heaven forbid), I won't be unarmed.

Zeke tried shooting it, right? My father showed me his guns. The only problem is that his pistols are both magnums. And the only one with ammo is a .357 revolver that would probably break both my arms if I tried to fire it. So, I'm fucked there. (Also: what the hell's up with your newest post, Zeke? Are you talking about the Sages or the workout guys?)

Positive thinking. Always positive thinking. Gotta stay positive in bleak times or when you're just being kind of paranoid. Staying positive is the difference between a guy at the base of a mountain and a guy dead at the peak.

...What the hell. Make with the Fatboy Slim references now if you want to.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Buzzing Bees- er, Hornets

I don't think Jay over at Marble Hornets is doing well. Check out his Twitter.

That Agent is back, and it either knows the password to that account, or... or it's Jay. Cripes, I hope it's not the second one. Please let Jay be all right.

Frakking hell...