Monday, November 29, 2010

Replicare

"The memories of destruction echo inside me
Now I am unable to run away
Trapped in sorrow, tied to anguish
Wandering in eternal night

In this broken world, stillness is scattered
A blue flame surges onward
Darkness of the night is buried in an inescapable nightmare
Confused hearts are distorted and driven chaotic

The hours of madness are cursing me
Breaking me, bonding me, that day comes again and again"

...No hidden meaning. Don't go looking for one.

I'm going to bed. Good night.

See you in the morning.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Ardent Love

...that didn't turn out like I expected.

Checked my inbox this morning and there was a message from my Dad. He'd gone over to his coworker's house to check on the guy and just hang out. He dozed off there and when he woke up, the guy was gone with his keys. Guess I'd just missed Dad when I climbed out the window.

My folks... they're not mad. They just want me to come home or let them know that I'm all right. ...Sent a message back letting them know that I'm alive and well. But I don't think I want to go home.

Not yet. Call it paranoia or something.

Robert... what happened to you?

Friday, November 26, 2010

Disembark

End of the road for me.

...And for the record, I always think of myself as Amelia. Never a Sage. Just... me. Been thinking about titles a lot during the train ride. Well, that and how bloody COLD it is outside of Arizona. Seriously. I take back all bitching I ever did about my hometown and winter.

Bah. Getting my backpack as soon as this posts. Catch you all once I hit a coffee place or a motel or something.

...Some quiet time wouldn't hurt.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Magnet

I am thankful for a father who watches horror movies with me and taught me how to build a computer from scratch.

I am thankful for a mother who loves sushi as much as I do and who taught me how to make chocoloate chip pecan cookies.

I am thankful for a sister who protected me from bullies as a child and who geeks out about comic books.

I am thankful for Robert and Jay and Shaun.

I am thankful for Zero and Maduin and Jean and Nessa and Reach and everyone who I've met since opening up this blog.

I am thankful that light exists even in the chaos of an unraveling life.

See you at the end of the tracks, zero. And don't worry. I'll have a creme soda with me like I promised.

Boarding's starting. See you then.

fortunediver

sitting on train, typing on cell

sorry for the shortness

daddy... your icarus is going to fly whether or not the wings are made of wax

you told me to find my own meaning in life. to not think i have to live up to anyone.

i found it, daddy. "icarus" or otherwise. even borrowed wings can still carry me.

take your offer and cram it, agent

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

BossDeath

Can't kill me if I stay in the busiest areas of the city, now, can you? Spent all afternoon near the municipal courthouse. Lunch at the sandwich shop across the street. The one filled with lawyers. And now I'm in one the busiest bars in all of town.

Fuck you if you think you'll catch me. I know this city like the back of my hands. I've lived here for over 20 years. By the time you figure out where I am? I'll be long gone and safely out of your reach.

Go tell It that. Go tell It that Amelia Clark is not giving up.

And go suck on that, Agents.

"Mamoritakatta no wa
Shizukana asu to
Kaasan ga tsukuru
Attakai SOUP

Sougen de naiteta koro
Motteta hazu no kokoro
Daiji datta mono ga nidoto
Mou kaeranainara"

Scars of Time

Still alive. Very little sleep. Cold night. Every time a car went by, I bolted upright. One stopped. Hid behind the drug store. Once the car went, checked on my stuff. Bag rummaged through, stuff scattered everywhere. Took a half-hour to recover everything.

Called home from pay phone. No response. Might be out looking for me. My folks, I mean. Mom's probably worried sick. Dad'll be angry. Sister... who knows with her?

In midtown BSG Pilot Coffee store. (See what I did there?) Moving on. Buses running now. Catch one, take to university. Big campus, lots of places to hide. Will wait it out there. (And check Dad's office. He might be there.)

Train doesn't come until early morning.